Today started out as a bummer because I woke up still exhausted and I forgot my calculator for my stupid math test!

Although my morning was not the best it was followed by free steak, free starbucks, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 4 on dvd, free groceries and time with my Grammy. I usually don't want to spend time with my family but it usually turns out to be a good time.
My Grammy wants to go every where before she starts losing her memory or something. She trying to take me to Pennsylvania and Chicago and Egypt and every where else. She is nuts and I love her.

I now have chris and sons of anarchy to look forward to later tonight.
Life is not too bad!
11 more days of being a teenager!

I smell fall!

So glad that tomorrow is October.

I just went for a little run (nothing that will impress katie) but it was nice. I need to start running again and the weather was so perfect tonight. This neighborhood is already starting to get decked out in Halloween decorations and it got me stoked!

Fall is definitely my favorite season.
I'm so happy that the weather is getting cooler and the leaves are starting to change...I love it!
Also stoked to become 20 and retire my teen-aged years soon and become an old lady.

Currently listening to music that reminds me of fall...like the third brand new album. So many people have told me how much they don't like that album but I like it. Definitely not my favorite but I think it's pretty good. Cat Stevens also gets me in the fall mood sometimes. Now I just want more weather like today and to watch scary movies for the next month.

Every time I feel like I have something interesting to say on here my internet doesn't work.
Anyways...
School is whatever.
New bike rules!
I need a job.
Cannot wait for my birthday... hopefully it will be better than last year.

Goodbyezzzzz.

Also...
I miss this.

RIP

Going crazy.
Full of hate.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLLLLOLOLOLOL.

I think for my birthday I just want to runaway and go on an adventure.
I need some fresh air.

Labor Day

I'm pretty exhausted from this weekend.

I arrived in Richmond Saturday afternoon with nothing to do since LWhit ditched me! It was okay though because I went shopping and spent too much money.

Later on I met up with Amira at her new apartment which is really nice. Dinner was better than I expected...our waiter and Amira will be in love soon. Bummed I didn't get to see Lewis, but another visit will be in my future.

Sunday Chris came up and we literally spent all day at the tattoo shop. I'm so stoked on both of our tattoos. Darryl rules! I'm also really glad I got to see my dad for a minute. It gets me so stoked to see him and Chris getting along so well. I don't give my dad enough credit.

Unfortunately in Richmond I heard about drama that was going on and it's a bummer that people I used to be really good friends with are like they are now. It makes me glad that I'm not involved though.

Over all I had a really good weekend. Hopefully this week goes by fast and will be followed by another good weekend. I can't wait for it to be fall for real.

This blog was really poorly organized. I don't care. Happy Labor Day!

This morning I woke up at 745 and got all the way to my apartment and remembered that I left my back pack at Chris' apartment. So I drove all the way back there and got my back pack and rushed back to my apartment to get ready for class on time. I got to class a few minutes before 9 when I remembered that my class starts at 930 and not 9...I've got too much on my mind and should just go back to bed until tomorrow.

Loner Lyfe Lolz

It's been a good couple weeks since I took the plunge and moved.

I have to say it was pretty impulsive of me. I don't think anyone took me seriously when I said I wanted to move... I don't think I even took myself seriously until it finally came down to the actual move. I'm still unsure of where I will end up but I'm not too worried about it right now. I don't know if I'll be working or if I'll be alone down here or if I will really finish my credits in time to transfer, but honestly I think I'm okay with that. The fact that I have the time to think all of those uncertainties through is enough for me right now. These uncertainties terrify me but I think even if I experience some set backs I will manage to get back to being happy here.

In the past two weeks I have listened to more music than I have in months. One night I even went to Barnes and Noble by myself and I wasn't just going to splurge on Starbucks. I sat down alone and read through some books and looked at some art. I know very little about art, but I know what I like and I now have weird collages all over my new walls. No one has seen them yet to confess to me how unorganized they look but I like them...so for now, they stay.
I've gone for a run or a walk almost every day and on days I didn't I adventured around the surrounding areas in my car, trying to get acquainted. This weekend when I had to go to my Mom's for some family functions I counted down the hours until I could leave without being rude. So for now I really like it here and I'm really happy.

Hoping for the best but expecting the worst...

The past week or so have been pretty good.
Stoked to be done with work but not stoked on being broke soon.

I can't believe school starts tomorrow... this summer went by way too fast.

If you told me that this is where I'd be a year ago I wouldn't believe it.
A lot has changed but I'm pretty excited to see where it goes.
Only thing I wish I had now was some more time to settle before school tomorrow but the weekend isn't too far away.

I should really start running again.

Trusting people has started to become almost impossible.
I'm paranoid about everything.
I need to relax.

I'm really nervous that all the plans I have for next semester are not going to be as great as I have anticipated. I suppose the nervousness is normal I just can't help but wonder if I'm making the right decision. I'm also very excited but it is just getting closer and closer and I'm anxious.

blah. blah. blah.

Friends are dropping like flies.
Never been more ready to start over.

I don't like posting on here anymore.
I write a lot of stuff and then end up deleting it because i don't think anyone really reads it and i don't really care all that much.

I'm boring.
bye.

You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

Back to reality.

I've had a lot of fun running away from my life for a while.
I hadn't slept in my own bed in over a week and I didn't miss it one bit.

Now I'm back to the same old routines that have been my life for the past month or so.
Wake up work come home crash...repeat 5 out of the 7 days in the week.

As of recently my life has become a constant extreme of ups and downs.
The only things I look forward to now are more of the ups and hopefully getting away again soon and seeing people who matter.

Dreamed I was a fireman.
I just smoked and watched you burn.
Dreamed I was an astronaut.
I shot you down like a juggernaut.

Dreamed we were still going out.
Had that one a few times now.
Woke up to find we were not.
It's good to be awake.

Dreamed I was a tidal wave.
I ravaged your coast,
There were no survivors.
Dreamed I was your landlord.
I showed you place when you had lovers.
If I was a vampire,
I wouldn't suck your blood.
Then I dreamed I was you.
Sweetest dream I have had.
If you could hear the dreams I've had, my dear,
They would give you nightmares for a week.

But you're not here and I can never sleep.
Come home so I can be a creep.

Dreamed I was a dream.
I stole you away in your sleep.
Saved you from a fire,
A gun for hire,
I introduced you to a vampire.
A wave crashed on the beach.
We rolled around in its foamy grasp.
Kissing in the chaos of a kelpy sea.
Seems I couldn't save you from me.

Maybe I'm obsessive to think like this.
Probably not impressing you with my cheap tricks.
Honey, it's depressing what depression does to some.
I'll play the part for hours
But I know you'll never come.

205 Plum Street

I kind of miss...
Lombardy market
Bike girl
Einstein
Tiny balcony chillerz
On-Demand
and even Lewis

this
is
not
my
life

but i WILL have a good day tomorrow.

Everything is starting to happen so fast and I'm not ready for any of it.
When did summer become more stressful than fall?

Stuck

Nothing I can do can make this any better or any worse.
I've never felt more betrayed, abandoned or taken advantage of by this many people.
But you can only blame yourself, and I'm really the only one to blame.
Everyone sucks.

I'm completely exhausted.
I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The only thing I'm looking forward to is hopefully finally getting some sleep and going here more often.



I've had the longest week and it is only going to be followed by the longest summer and that isn't a good thing as of how things are now...




Here I rest where disappointment and regret collide lying awake at night.

Why the FUCK am I parked on 64 right now!?

I'm going fucking crazy right now I'm in the worst fucking mood I just want to go home and there is a cop blocking traffic on 64 for god knows what at 1130pm.
I hate everything.
Stoked on waking up for work at 7am!

"It's hard to look in the mirror these days when everyone has everything you'd rather be."

It sucks that I have to work the rest of the summer and won't have much time for anything. I just started summer vacation and it is basically over for me already.
I guess I just hope to find some time and some people to join me on some road trips. I think I would be down for any where other than here.
But...
I hate trying to talk to my friends and not getting any responses.
I hate living here and I hate living alone.
Maybe if I can get myself to sleep long enough I will wake up and be okay again.

Yep, it is official...this summer is going to suck!

Honestly, I'm not very stoked for summer.
Chris is moving back to the beach.
I'm probably going to be working too much.
My living situation is looking stressful.

Let's just see if I even get through the last week of school.

I feel like I'm losing myself.

I don't know how everything got so messed up so quickly.

I'm trying so hard to be okay and I'm not having fun.
Getting called busted by dudes I don't even know isn't fun to me and I don't know why apparently some girls are cool with that. I feel like I'm losing a lot of my friends and the only one I have to blame is myself. It sucks to be walking home alone and just needing someone to talk to and not being able to get in touch with anyone.

The only things I have learned so far are that...
Staying out late doesn't make coming home alone any easier.
Monster energy drinks don't make you have energy they just make you feel like shit.
And as many times as I think things are finally working out in my life I am still wrong.

I just want to fall asleep and wake up a month ago.

The only thing that stays constant in my life is that when one bad thing happens a million other bad things happen too.






What an AWESOME week!

Spring > Winter

Today I remembered how afraid I am of being alone sometimes.
I guess I should just chill out, because it's really not too bad.
If I take my sour mood and construct it into something good it can even be enjoyable from time to time.

I can't wait for spring to come and pull me out of all my winter moods.
I can't believe this was all covered in snow just a few days ago.

I wish I wasn't so boring.

This is Dumptruck

and all I want is for him to love me.

January was so long.

And it was too cold most of the time.
I'm still looking forward to some spring weather.

In the past week I:
acquired a rat.
became a weird brunette.
became unemployed.
became the brick breaker champ for an hour.

i'm boring.

Winter break consisted of:

Chris
Working too much
Cro mags in philly
Family hang outs
Va beach
JYDoggin
Cat-nappers
Wawa's
Karandon
Delaware being the worst state ever
Bah muthafuckin humbuging
Nerd virgins
Road trips
FXBG
Balloon animals
Cat fights
Watching tear jerkers in bed
Sleeping a lot and then not sleeping at all
Unicorn cards and fairy games

And probably a whole lot of other stuff. Over all I think I had an okay break. Sucks I had to work a lot but stoked on having a little bit of money coming my way until I lose my job...
Not stoked on that or on school...all though it should be better than first semester.

I just want it to be spring.